Anxious Anticipation!

Well, I guess its time to let the news be public...

WE ARE EXPECTING BABY #3!

And I will be first to admit I am excited, scared, anxious, worried, delighted, and on a surreal journey....

I have an underlying 'peace' about this pregnancy, even though I still stress, worry, and freak at any thing that could potentially be 'bad' (although we've had no bad news yet!- Thank you Jesus!).  We had a lot of 'God things' happen before we began trying for this little one.  And all signs pointed to it was the right time to have another one and that this one would be ours to keep for a while.  I have a feeling that things WILL be okay, and we will have our RAINBOW baby, born at home again and completely healthy.

Kaylin is over the moon about this pregnancy too, she tickles baby by poking my belly button and laughs so hard.  She kisses the baby, and tells it she loves it.  And keeps saying 'when the baby comes out' or 'our baby is this big...'  It is totally heart warming and I love every minute of how wonderful of a big sister she already is!

We have our anatomy ultrasound in just under two weeks, TONIGHT! and I'm so ready to see this little one, and make sure it is measuring 'on track' and that EVERYTHING looks good to go!  And just maybe, this one will show us if its a boy or girl!  Although, we're not holding our breath, because our kiddos don't like to show it on the first go round.  Kaylin we had 2 ultrasounds to find out, and Hailey took her sweet time with 5. Baby 3, maybe will be the easy one and show us right off the bat!  If not, I'm okay with a surprise too!

Allen, Kaylin and I are so ready to welcome this little one, due March 7th, into our family, and finally hold another healthy, happy, lovable baby boy or girl!  WE CANNOT WAIT!

Heaven and Earth

Today I went out to run a few errands. The biggest reason, to pick up the needlepoint I made for Hailey as her first Christmas ornament was finally back from the finisher!  As I headed out, Kaylin was tired, I knew this trip would either include her napping or screaming, and wasn't sure which way it was headed as I backed out of the driveway.

Thank goodness it started off with her asleep in the backseat.  I drove down I-10 in cold rainy weather, just thinking.  Thinking about how amazing it is to have a peaceful sleeping toddler and how much I need those naps on many days!  But then my mind turned as it often does to Hailey.  I knew I was getting close to the cemetery and it was pulling me in.  I began to pray, asking that God would play a song that could bring some peace to me.  Songs played and I tried to grasp onto one part or another thinking, 'Oh maybe that's the right song....' but still hopeful one would be better than the last.

Just as I turned off the feeder into the cemetery, Chris Tomlin's, God of Wonders began to play.  I sat parked in the car, tears flowing and listening.....

"Lord of all creation
Of water, earth, and sky
The heavens are Your tabernacle
Glory to the Lord on High

God of wonders, beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
The universe declares Your majesty
You are holy, holy

Lord of heaven and earth"  

Here I was, sitting in front of where Hailey's was laid to rest, and looking in the rearview mirror at Kaylin.  Both my girls, sleeping peacefully, and sort of laughing at how fitting the song was.  My God is the Lord of heaven and earth.  He holds Hailey and Kaylin, and me....  He will never let any of us go, He is here even in my darkest of days, even the days I cannot shake or even begin to understand...