Today I went out to run a few errands. The biggest reason, to pick up the needlepoint I made for Hailey as her first Christmas ornament was finally back from the finisher! As I headed out, Kaylin was tired, I knew this trip would either include her napping or screaming, and wasn't sure which way it was headed as I backed out of the driveway.
Thank goodness it started off with her asleep in the backseat. I drove down I-10 in cold rainy weather, just thinking. Thinking about how amazing it is to have a peaceful sleeping toddler and how much I need those naps on many days! But then my mind turned as it often does to Hailey. I knew I was getting close to the cemetery and it was pulling me in. I began to pray, asking that God would play a song that could bring some peace to me. Songs played and I tried to grasp onto one part or another thinking, 'Oh maybe that's the right song....' but still hopeful one would be better than the last.
Just as I turned off the feeder into the cemetery, Chris Tomlin's, God of Wonders began to play. I sat parked in the car, tears flowing and listening.....
"Lord of all creation
Of water, earth, and sky
The heavens are Your tabernacle
Glory to the Lord on High
God of wonders, beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
The universe declares Your majesty
You are holy, holy
Lord of heaven and earth"
Here I was, sitting in front of where Hailey's was laid to rest, and looking in the rearview mirror at Kaylin. Both my girls, sleeping peacefully, and sort of laughing at how fitting the song was. My God is the Lord of heaven and earth. He holds Hailey and Kaylin, and me.... He will never let any of us go, He is here even in my darkest of days, even the days I cannot shake or even begin to understand...
